looking fo a place to sleep in peace

there's no turning back the time. what's done is done, what happened has gone. while i thank the familiar and the comfortable, i weep and say goodbye.

much too early for 2010, but realized too late even for 2009. i have to say goodbye to the sweetness, the oddity, the unnerving, the unimaginable. because 2010 came in earlier and inevitably so.

there's a light in your eyes i used to see
there's a place in your heart where i used to be
should i keep on waiting
or does love keep on fading away?

gotta make this more than what it is if i want it to work.
problem is what if you no longer want it to work?

hold on this will hurt more than anything has before.

everything seems to be falling into bits and pieces. when taken apart, this is a puzzle in disarray. when putting back, there are some missing pieces. the bitching is not helping. so is the questioning and bickering.

it's frightening to know that something's amiss. all we could ever look at are the pictures and the almost-fresh memory that goes with it.

here's to hoping that this will not end in tears.

gotta get thru this

i need to get a hobby that would not make my interest wane. i have forgotten how it felt to be engaged, be focused.

i'm bored.

meanwhile, think i'll spend my time shooting for the stars.

i think i make myself easy to hate. i'm weird and cold. i couldn't work things out in the most appropriate time. there will come that time, as it came twice before, when you'd just leave because you can't take it anymore - the bullshit that i breathe. i know what's wrong. i just didn't think that i could have just stopped right then and there to somehow make everything a little bit right, if at all. maybe i'm that selfish and evil.

i let you down a lot of times. today's no exception. i will let you down again for sure. i just hope that when you decide you couldn't take any more, i'll be strong enough to learn to accept that and move on. or i pray that i'm dead so it won't hurt anymore.

the monster in me

once upon a time, there was a girl who wanted everything in this world.

now, she still wants everything in the world, at the expense of every heart she could break.


it has clawed it's way out of me. it's just so sad to see.

peak

recently heard about achievements of some of my friends. really proud to have known such talented, ambitious, and driven people. to think that we just once had a coffee/smoke break, an elevator chat or two. and now here they are, fulfilling their dreams :)

even if you look around and see everything in disarray, you know that at the end of it all, something great's gonna come your way :)